I lied.

I don't usually lie. I try not to at least. I never lie about big things. I can't really think about any lies I have made. Maybe a few little things here and there .... like to my kids. Whoops.... Well, lately I've been doing a little fibbing. Like to the bank and maybe the DMV. So who knew the bank has to have a physical address even if they have a current mailing address (po box)? They don't accept that you literally don't have a physical address. So what else to satisfy them...? Yes, I do live at that address I just told you I moved from and don't live at anymore. Yes, keep 100 Janey on file please. That was a moment of awakening for me several weeks ago. This week was another. I didn't realize my license was expired (since February). I vividly remember checking my license and thinking nope I have another year. Yeah, I think that was a year ago when I checked. I don't really remember what all you have to give the DMV for a change of address but I am not there yet. I literally have no proof of any residence whatsoever. And I could not handle the stress of them not renewing my license considering my other circumstances this week. So..."Maam, your current address is 100 Janey?" Yes, yes it is. That is where I live. So to the people who bought my house, I am not living in denial. Just complete and utter limbo with no proveable place of residence. Maybe we could work a deal out and you let me use that address a little longer. Say 12 months or so. 

AAAaaahhhh!

There is noting like not having a house, a residence, mi casa. But when you add not having a car either. Life gets real. Not sure what its been before now. But we are at the bottom of the real barrel. I never really considered myself one that loves material things. But its proved to be the case when I have let that rule my mood, behavior, focus, faith, concern, etc. the past couple of weeks. Without a house and now a car, I have let the devil guide my entire week. Scott did not appreciate my hashtag #nohousenocar

I wrecked my car last week. Bad. Like over $7,000 worth of damage, bad. The pictures don't do it justice. It was one of those times you feel so stupid. But at the same time I am still confused about the situation. Don't have memory of some of it. Don't understand the amount of damage from going less than 10 mph. And it was all a split second. It was my fault. The guy was super nice and had just been hit the week before by another lady. I've never had a wreck. Never hit anything. Someone hit my car when it was parked. And I was a passenger in the car when my good friend from college had a wreck. But there's nothing like it when you are driving. Gaines was so concerned. He hadn't seen the car, but saw my busted lip. He cupped my face in his hands and worry all in his eyes. Oh, the sweet. My dad made fun of me. My husband calmly talked through the situation. My friend helped my zip-tie my front end together so I could drive an hour home. My mom had a list of thankful things written out for me when I got home. When I got home, I fell down the stairs. 

... the week's end last Friday ...

That, coupled with them not renting me a car because my license was expired, and me not having a legal residence .... really threw my emotions this week. People are shocked about our current situation. Can't understand it. Wouldn't want to live. Want answers about how we are going to fix it. People, if I had them, I might share them. We are working on the situation. We would love to own a house a again. We are trying to buy one. I hope we like it by the time we see it again. Too bad if we don't. As long as I don't have to give you proof of residence, I won't lie to you. Maybe.